As a child, I always thought differently from others. It wasn’t because I was smarter, more insecure, or less confident than the popular kids in school. I embraced a unique perspective because I wanted to be an outsider. I believed that conforming to social norms or the status quo was an easy way to live; I preferred to choose a more challenging path—especially considering the difficulties of being a Black person living among White people. My understanding of why I chose this path is rooted in my desire to achieve great things in life, especially after enduring a difficult childhood. At times, I felt like one of those kids you see on TV who supposedly needed £1.50 to receive food and water for a week, and 50p to attend school for two weeks. I often questioned why it would cost more to feed those kids, but I digress.
One thing about me is that I was definitely one of those children who lost his identity due to my father complex as a young child and teenager. It was probably hard to digest at that age simply because I never understood the reasons behind it, and that made it hurt more than it was intended to. I knew my mom always took great care of me, despite the belt, slippers, tree branches, and those routines where I had to stand in the corner on one leg while hopping in place without moving. I knew she loved me as much as a mother should—not enough to kill me with a belt on my soft, sensitive skin, but enough to help me learn never to taste food before it was served again. My mother taught me how to be more ambitious with my lifestyle, while my deadbeat stepdad taught me how to take corners more "efficiently" in Gran Turismo 2 without losing speed. Imagine walking into a job and saying I knew how to take corners efficiently in Gran Turismo 2 because my stepdad taught me it would save them millions in profit and tires.
Mother Vassell (my last name, but not hers) always said that if you are born with a skill, you should use it to the fullest and then find another skill to fall back on. There’s no point in knowing how to get from point A to point B if, when made redundant, you can’t move forward because of the experience required (a little gaming reference there). This is probably why I see people with more experience points (XP) than I know I am capable of, doing very little to progress in life, and it hurts to witness. It shouldn't be like that, but it happens. Some people receive the wrong advice in life and limit their abilities just to remain comfortable.
Why settle for comfort when life has always been a struggle? Why become a pushover and let life hold you down? You can settle for less when you marry that girl you feel you HAVE to marry because the one you really want either turned gay or thinks you're 100% scum. Growing up, I had a successful uncle who earned more money than I could count, a mother who worked three jobs but still made time for the gym and family, and a grandmother who put in extra shifts at the church to support us. This upbringing made me think, "I’m better than a McDonald's employee." While that may be true, it’s important not to jump to KFC just for a slight salary increase. They only hire you because Larry keeps eating the customers’ chicken and takes extra breaks. You need to remind yourself, "I am better than Larry."